R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me

A couple of days, a lot of SATC episodes, a vexing question--does sex devalue a woman? I answered no. I'm sure SATC would say no too, but my friend Annie pointed out that I may think this way, but the rest of the world may not. Don't I think it's true that it's better to hold off on sleeping with someone? I try to deconstruct this question. There has to be a systematic way. Let's start with the premise. Men may not want women who are “easy” or sexually available. We have to assume that men divide women into two categories: the hook up and the relationship. Does having sex with someone right away immediately propel you into the former category? Is it an irreversible trajectory?


Think of all the relationships you see around you. How many of them started because the two parties hooked up one night? How many times have you hooked up with someone to have it turn into something substantial? Personally, I know of quite a few instances where two people hook up and then eventually start dating. Why then do we keep repeating to ourselves that hooking up will destroy any chance of a meaningful relationship?


There’s virtue in recognizing that relationships work best when both people genuinely enjoy being with each other, when our judgment isn’t clouded by the surging hormones and post-coital bliss. We want to be sure that he likes us for us and that we like him for him---not because of some oxytocin-induced attachment. But there will never be a prophylactic for heartbreak. I say this to my friends again and again. What Samantha (from SATC) said was true, “A guy can easily dump you if you have sex with him on the first date as he could if you had sex with him on the tenth date.” If you are who you are, (smart, funny, genuine, beautiful) why would you all of a sudden turn into a swamp creature as soon as you have sex?


Whether you decide to hold off or do it right away, each decision is personal and dictated by the circumstances. If you're holding off because you're afraid that the guy won't respect you, you need to ask yourself why your "purity" is the only thing worth respecting about you. Who says that particular attribute is so desirable? Do you have a career that you’re proud of? Are you sure of yourself and what you want out of life? Believe it or not, people respect that and if any man believes that you have to be “pure” or sexually unavailable in order for him to respect you, he is the wrong kind of man---one that I certainly don’t respect.

fresh start

New phone. Lots of casualties. I like the idea of starting over, taking the numbers I want with me, and leaving some in the past.

2009 wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. There were the gut punches of mediocre grades and contraction of the job market. I'm anxious, but I'm hopeful. I keep thinking of Marjorie's quote. I'm anxious about all these loose threads of my life. I'm unsettled by all the questions to which I can't seem to find the answer. But maybe the answer isn't ready for me yet and before I know it, I'll live my way into the answer. So here's hoping that 2010 takes me one step closer.

New Year's resolution: be punctual. I know it's a tough one, but I think I can do it.

I'm trying to figure out how to get comments on this new layout. Agh.

myhouse- purple smokey eye

I'm done with Asian brand lashes. I know lots of people love them, but personally, they're too stiff and the lashes are too short. I don't get the effect I want, so I'm back to American brands. I really like the Ardell demi-lashes right now. They are longer towards the outer edge so they don't overwhelm my eye and the hairs are super soft.











No flash:


myhouse was pretty cool. I was a little apprehensive about going to a club on Christmas but Santa was there!



Santa doesn't look so good. LOL.

gray outfit and smokey eyes

I love being able to dress up again! I'm still WAY behind on Xmas shopping but that's another story.

Outfit (sorry for the dirty mirror!!)





Smokey eye-- started out as purple and turned brown? I don't know what happened here.

I haven't done a face of the day in awhile, so here's two.









Red lips tip: My roommate told me that the trick to pulling off red lip is to have really clean outer edges. Since red lipsticks tend to bleed, it's essential to have a lipliner or a reverse lipliner to make sure you have crisp edges. I used NARS velvet matte lip pencil (it looks like a fat crayon) to get my red lips. I don't wear bold make up so often, so I can't justify buying a lipstick AND lip pencil. Definitely look into it if you girls are thinking about getting a starter red lipstick.

haulage

Smashbox sale.



The Smashbox Muse palette











This huge make up remover was only $5!! It smells good, gets all your make up off, but is slightly oily. I'd get it again though. You get 2 or 3 times as much as a drug store MU remover.

My friend and I noticed a Pan-Asia Expo right across from the sample sale in the LA Convention Center. It was a total bust. The "food court" had two vendors total. There was a bunch of random stuff and travel packages, but nothing that we wanted. I wish I had my camera with me. We did find a vendor with all this cute panda stuff. I got a tote.





Earrings from American Eagle. I love bows right now. So cute.

This Woman's Work

Maxwell has me mesmerized.



the original: