Friday, August 17, 2012

thoughts from a first-year associate

      When I was unemployed, there were days when I thought, "Why did I go to law school?" That thought was quickly followed by, "What else could I possibly do with my life?" 

      There are still times when I turn my chair around and stare out the huge window, wondering what how it would be to be in the great big out there, writing the next blog, book, whatever captures people's imagination. Dreams die hard. 

       There's always this fear that I'm not good enough to be a writer, or I guess a successful writer. It's always nagged at me. Sure, I love it, but am I good at it? It's different with law. There's training involved with practicing law. It's like tennis. If you're around people who are good at it, you pick up a couple of things. So I hang on to this blog, shouting out into the wind, releasing my thoughts at the end of the day. 

       I haven't had a single day in which I dreaded going to work. When the weekend ends, there's a collective groan across social media, bemoaning Mondays. I feel especially fortunate, because I don't feel that (yet, knock on wood). Even when I was at my old firm, I never dreaded Mondays. I knew there was an avalanche of obligations waiting for me on my desk, but I knew that by Wednesday, I would have dealt with most of the urgent tasks. At this firm, I have the luxury of time, and there's always something to keep my mind occupied. Work doesn't feel like a grind. 

      I guess law school wasn't such a bad idea after all.