Sunday, February 17, 2013

Post-Wedding Bridesmaid Thoughts

Weddings, like death, don't really hit you until it happens to someone close you. (Is she joking, you are wondering. Is this going to be morbid, because if so, I'm going to stop reading. Keep going. It won't be.) When weddings happen to someone close to you, it really forces you to contemplate the fact that one day, it might happen to you too.

I use the word "you," but I really mean me. I was forced to think about how a wedding might happen to me.

The cost. Good lord, the cost. This is the only time in my life I am going to spend a thousand dollars on flowers, and maybe another couple of thousands on a dress, and pay someone to make sure my hair is an immobile helmet. 
The planning. I hate planning. If it was up to me and not society, I'd have a big potluck and everyone will come with food and make the decorations, like at my last birthday party. 
    But you can have a small wedding. Though this is true, I will then I have to deliberate whether I want a small or big wedding. My future husband will have input too, I suppose, and everyone's parents will have something to say about it. 

I dread it all. 
    Then you don't have to get married. You're right. I could just not get married, but then I will have to think about whether or not I want to get married. 
    Didn't you make a wedding scrapbook when you were 10? I think I was practicing to be a wedding planner and not planning my own wedding, because I had like 5 diff weddings in there. 
   Didn't you pick up a bunch of free bridal magazines off of Craigslist in 2008? Yes. I like magazines, and I was dumb(er). Oh, and they were free.
   You can still go clubbing and have fun with your friends after you're married! No one invites the married girl out. Trust me, I've deleted plenty of numbers from my phone. Kidding!
   Didn't so-and-so just propose/get married? Yes. I was hoping he would die sad and alone, but it looks like he's not going to. Fiddlesticks.

What I hate the most are the cliches. Good thing my friends are smart and verbose, because if any one of them uses the phrase "made for each other," I will turn off the mic. I will probably not be friends with that person anymore. Fair warning. 

Monday, February 4, 2013

From around the interwebs

A description of women at a speeding dating event by a blogger: 
The other girls looked like the Asian female students you saw in your high school hallway carrying a stack of books walking with their head down with glasses; but now that they’ve somewhat grown into their boyish figures and have a career, they’ve built a confidence that is too good for what they can offer. 
  Why the semicolon? Also, I'd rather be one of the confident career women than someone hoping for a tip from them. Justsayin. I can't tell if she's describing arrogance or if it's just a bunch of sour grapes from the local bartender/actress wannabe.

XXX is an undergraduate Biology/Pre-Med student and Biology Teaching Assistant attending the University of La Verne. XXX also works for AHMC Health Foundation, a non-profit organization that seeks to improve the health and wellness of those underserved. There is not just one word to describe XXX. Barely turning 21, she has accomplished much more than many of those at her age. XXX has been involved in Speech and Debate for seven years, using her unique sense of humor to advocate and inspire others to be better on a local and national scale.
My friend wants to give this girl the benefit of doubt and is assuming that her bio consists of a copy/paste job of the topic sentence of every paragraph of her personal essay. I want to believe that too, but somehow, I don't think that's what happened here. It seems a bit boastful to say that "she has accomplished much more than many of those at her age" when all she's done is go to a no-name school in the middle of nowhere while volunteering at a nonprofit. Is her myopic gaze limited to her own reflection? Surely every single student at a reputable university has accomplished more than this lady. I am not even going to touch the phrase "There is not just one word to describe XXX." Few people can be described by one word.

Following college, XXX graduated from Southwestern Law School's prestigious 2-year accelerated SCALE J.D. Honors program in May 2012. 
I guess prestige is relative? Either that or she doesn't know what prestigious means.