Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I hate everyone

Too harsh? Maybe not when you hear what I have to say. (Okay, probably too harsh.)

I've been reading the various blogs comprising the Occupy movement: "We are the 99%", "We stand with the 99%" and now the backlash blog "We are the 53%."

I was hoping that last one would be a moderate blog. It wasn't. I think they are all dumb. I'm not going to bother ranking them by degree of dumbness.

We stand with the 99%.
You people are rich. Crazy rich. Inherited-$3M-when-you-were-20 rich. I think it's senseless for you people to hold up signs saying "Tax me more" when your money is freely expendable. Here's an idea, instead of waiting for the government to tear that money from your iron-grip, maybe you should give it away. You can give it to organization, shelters, make friends with some of the 99% and pay off their loans. Use your money to buy some professional lobbyists to demand a fundamental change in the system. Making a blog telling the government to tax you more is the most superficial thing you can do in support of this movement. I hate you.

We are the 53%.
You guys are hardworking. You guys are proud. You don't accept assistance. That's great, but you don't need to criticize people who want to enjoy some of the wealth that they helped create. You and the 99% are two-sides of the same coin. You're in the same sucky boat and you are getting way less than what you deserve. If you are okay with that, fine, but don't criticize the same people who work just as hard as you, but realize that resources are unequally distributed. I kind of hate you.

We are the 99%.
You guys are just misinformed. Don't talk about how you can't afford to file bankruptcy. There are free clinics that will walk you through it and it's not hard when you don't have very many assets. Student loans are a bummer, but there has always been scholarships and financial aid for the needy. You were supposed to look for them. For all of you who took out loans in 2008 or later, that shit is going to get forgiven in 25 years if you stick to the IBR or ICR repayment plans. It's hard not to get the health care you need, but if you're really at the poverty level, there's state paid for health care programs such as MediCal, Healthy Families, and other health care plans for the low-income. There are social workers, people whose job is to help you find these programs. Go to your nearest Social Security Administration office and see what's up. Chances are your resources haven't been exhausted, and you're already crying. I hate you.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Ooh, that can't be good

At my interview this morning, behind closed doors, an associate told me, "I've got $50K in the bank and the minute my one year mark hits, I am out of here."

I guess on the bright side, Trojans look out for each other. In analyzing my situation, my co-worker put it best when he said, "It'll be nice to get it, but you won't be that disappointed if you don't."

Thursday, October 20, 2011

All made up and ready to go out on a Thursday. Feels like undergrad.


unemployment chronicles

My friend wants to start a blog called "The Art of Poor" and I suggested "Song of Paupers."

I interviewed for a litigation secretary job on Tuesday. I took the JD off my resume just to make sure I got the interview. At the interview, I told the partner that I actually had a JD and showed him my legal resume. He was impressed, really impressed. He seemed certain that I was going to get a ton of offers once bar results come in.

Has he seen the ABA Journal entries lately? Or Above the Law? I was tempted to ask him to send his resume out in this economic climate and see what kind of offer he gets. Discount it by a huge increment and he'll see how much people are willing to pay for newbie associates. The pay he was offering for the litigation secretary position felt like a million dollars to me. I stayed dignified and kept parroting what I hope were the right things. He said he would have to talk to his partners about me. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

In better news, my friend told me that a project director spot opened up at my night job, and the facility director wants me to fill the spot. Of course, they are worried that they will train me and once bar results come out, I'm going to peace the heck out. (Why is everyone so certain that I will a) pass the bar and b) make a ton of money once I do?) I went through another round of telling her I won't leave, so the spot is mine. Pays a little more than 1 1/2 times the glorified housekeeper job. Wheeeee!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


The night job isn't ideal, but at least I don't have to buy groceries for the rest of the week.



-2 sandwiches
-sushi in foil
-2 bags of fruit
-bag of oreos and brownies
-5 energy bars
- 1 greek yogurt
-1 bowl of cereal

Monday, October 10, 2011

Columbus Day

Jared: Do you think if I invade somewhere, bring some diseases and what not, and steal things that I can have my own day?
me: You can MAKE them celebrate you. Everyday would be Jared day, but no one gets the day off.
Jared: Yeah, fuck that. They have to tend to the fields.
me: Were indigenous people just too chill? Were they thinking, whatev, we've got all this land. There's not that many of them. Oh shit, more people are coming. *cough cough* Damn it.

I have a healthy imagination when it comes to history.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

"What's in that?"

Dear Mr./Ms. Curious,

Some people might enjoy being cultural ambassadors. I personally don't. I like being left alone when enjoying my mooncakes, broken rice, or whatever cultural oddity I might be consuming. I don't want you to express an interest in my culture. If you ask me what I am eating, I will answer, "Mooncake," or whatever translation I have already prepared in anticipation of someone asking me.

This is where you leave me the eff alone and consult your smartphone. It's connected to the internet and someone on the internet who loves mooncakes can tell you every GD ingredient. I honestly don't know whether it's baked or steamed. I don't know what the filling is made of. I don't want to compare it to any Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Thai dish that you may be familiar with. I don't know what typical moon cakes look like or what they represent. I don't want to tell you the origin of the moon festival or every myth that surrounds it. I am trying to effing eat my moon cake.

I didn't know the difference between a wot and a tib. I looked it up! I still can't really tell the difference between a flauta and a taquito, but when someone offered me one or the other, I fucking ate it. I didn't sniff and wrinkle my nose. I didn't demand to know every single ingredient before putting it in my mouth. It's just one bite! From that point, I formed an opinion. It's a simple system. I encourage you to try it.

In closing, I implore you to take a bite of this or stfu.