If you watch "Arrested Development," that's what my title alludes to.
I really, really don't like being touched by strangers at bars and/or clubs. Sometimes a guy will put his hand on my waist to say hello and it's NEVER the ones that are attractive or normal.
Friday night. Busby's East. Guy said hello to me. He was short, way chubby with long hair and glasses. I said hi back to be polite and he asked me my name. I said, "Anh." Since he couldn't hear me, he moved next to me, presumably so he can hear it better. Except he put his head on my shoulder? (Yes, he was that short.) What. No. I ran away.
Shortly after that incident, Steph and I went to look for her boyfriend, who conveniently made friends with three former Bruins. In order of attractiveness: 1) Hapa law boy, 2) Korean USC MBA, 3) the touchy optometry student. Korean USC and I had plenty to talk about since we're both Bruin-Trojans, and I chatted up Hapa law boy since he's a 1L and I remember all too vividly that nightmarish year.
Michi invited them all over to his apartment to play video games and on the walk back, I complained about aching feet. Korean MBA told me to hop on his back. While Korean MBA was giving me a piggie back ride, I tugged at my skirt to make sure I wasn't flashing the boys behind us and touchy optometrist "helped" by putting his hand up my skirt. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Michi had been carrying Steph the whole time and we switched off, with me on Michi's back and Steph walking. Then Michi then asked Steph for a piggie back ride and put me down.(Both Steph and Michi are literal twigs.) Surprisingly, Steph was able to carry Michi. Touchy optometrist decided to ask me for a piggie back ride and I repeatedly said no. He put both arms around me ANYWAY and I was like NO and walked faster. How annoying was that. Back at the apartment, I kept secluding myself in corners and Steph and I left the living room. Hapa came in to talk to us, which was cool, but I couldn't get over how annoying touchy optometrist was. I told Korean MBA via text later that his friend made me uncomfortable and he apologized. Ugh, if I see that guy again, I would give him a hard shove or a stiletto to the foot. NO TOUCHING.
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